Post by joehovis on Apr 1, 2007 15:07:36 GMT
Christ! i wish someone had told me how posh this hotel was before i played! it was like when spinal tap play at the air hanger! i got there and this fella sed to me "you dont have any swearing in your songs do you" to which i blantently lied "maybe the odd one, but i will try and change the lyrics" then the bloke sed "good, because if i hear any swear words come out of your mouth i will not be too impressed, my daughter is here so please tone it down" i then overhurd him chatting to someone angerily saying "why do people swear, its a disagrace to music!"
so i this point i am shitting myself, the set list wasnt very resterant friendly (BEat on the Brat, Depend on You, A NEw England, straight edge, banned from the roxy, Macho Man, Nazi punks fuck off and i wanna be sedated) those were the only songs i knew at that moment in time. I panicked and drank more boddingtons, whilst panicking about what to do.....eventually i had had enough boddingtons to say, "fuck it, i am doing them n e way" coz i saw that bloke and his daughter go home.
the first thing i said on the microphone "i have been told i am not allowed to fucking swear tonight so i will try my shitting best, oh bollocks, i have already fucked up" and kicked in with beat on the brat! i was overnice to anyone who clapped, not in a sarcastic way but a genuine "you dont need to clap just because i am retarded" type of banter "your far too kind" Depend on you and a new england were ok, but i got the feeling i was literally going down like a fart in a lift. I decided against playing Straight Edge, and Banned from the Roxy and PLayed Macho Man, i really got into it but i looked over at the bar and it was a mixture of people pissing themselves at me, and bold 40 year old men looking really pissed off that they forked out £20 for a meal, and had to put up with me in the background. I also didnt do Nazi PUnks, as i thought i wouldve been killed. i was telling the audience that they should be privelaged to listen to me play whilst they eat there over priced meals. I did i wanna be sedated, which was funny because i was trying my darndest to get everyone singing the "bam bam ba bam ba bam bam ba bam" bit at the end and not one person sang it back to me!
then invited my mate peter harvey onstage for a bankshot reunion to play hopeless romantic. I thought that there is no way i am playing anymore songs, so i annonced that you would never see Joe Hovis in a Nant Hall Hotel ever again! no one clapped when i left the stage, except one drunk (i am guessing he was a punk for 6 months in 1977, then became an accountant....you know the type of people!) heckling me "come back on and play some clash!" he thought i was his monkey "dont you do requests?" "if you asked me for beat on the brat by the ramones, then i wouldve done a request!"
So as me and pete packed up, we thought we had better get off the premises pretty quick, the bar man was slowly walking towards me, i thought, here it comes, the "i will make sure you never play in this town ever again!" speech. he looked at me for a bit, then said "well played mate" and handed me a 20 quid note! i was amazed! laughing like a looney!
not bad for playing 6 songs, talking for equally long as each song, and slagging off the venue!
job well done!
Joe
so i this point i am shitting myself, the set list wasnt very resterant friendly (BEat on the Brat, Depend on You, A NEw England, straight edge, banned from the roxy, Macho Man, Nazi punks fuck off and i wanna be sedated) those were the only songs i knew at that moment in time. I panicked and drank more boddingtons, whilst panicking about what to do.....eventually i had had enough boddingtons to say, "fuck it, i am doing them n e way" coz i saw that bloke and his daughter go home.
the first thing i said on the microphone "i have been told i am not allowed to fucking swear tonight so i will try my shitting best, oh bollocks, i have already fucked up" and kicked in with beat on the brat! i was overnice to anyone who clapped, not in a sarcastic way but a genuine "you dont need to clap just because i am retarded" type of banter "your far too kind" Depend on you and a new england were ok, but i got the feeling i was literally going down like a fart in a lift. I decided against playing Straight Edge, and Banned from the Roxy and PLayed Macho Man, i really got into it but i looked over at the bar and it was a mixture of people pissing themselves at me, and bold 40 year old men looking really pissed off that they forked out £20 for a meal, and had to put up with me in the background. I also didnt do Nazi PUnks, as i thought i wouldve been killed. i was telling the audience that they should be privelaged to listen to me play whilst they eat there over priced meals. I did i wanna be sedated, which was funny because i was trying my darndest to get everyone singing the "bam bam ba bam ba bam bam ba bam" bit at the end and not one person sang it back to me!
then invited my mate peter harvey onstage for a bankshot reunion to play hopeless romantic. I thought that there is no way i am playing anymore songs, so i annonced that you would never see Joe Hovis in a Nant Hall Hotel ever again! no one clapped when i left the stage, except one drunk (i am guessing he was a punk for 6 months in 1977, then became an accountant....you know the type of people!) heckling me "come back on and play some clash!" he thought i was his monkey "dont you do requests?" "if you asked me for beat on the brat by the ramones, then i wouldve done a request!"
So as me and pete packed up, we thought we had better get off the premises pretty quick, the bar man was slowly walking towards me, i thought, here it comes, the "i will make sure you never play in this town ever again!" speech. he looked at me for a bit, then said "well played mate" and handed me a 20 quid note! i was amazed! laughing like a looney!
not bad for playing 6 songs, talking for equally long as each song, and slagging off the venue!
job well done!
Joe