marni
Wet Behind The Ears
Posts: 28
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Post by marni on Feb 16, 2007 23:00:37 GMT
My English Teacher
1. Oh I'm sorry... am I speaking over someone? Oh how rude of me.. (looks around the room in disgust) 2. I'm sorry, I've got this problem with my ears... I can't hear over twenty different people shouting at me at once. 3. Do not bombard me with questions as you walk through the door.. 4. You can all settle down when you see fit 5. Hands up who's not here. 6. I'm going to sit here and wait for you to all stop talking. 7. YEAR NINE! Never in my life have I had to shout at you before! 8. Oh, by the way Marni, your dad's dead fit (he made me put that) 9. Look! I never got locked in a cupboard.. and Janes doesn't rhyme with Hanes! (coming from our history teacher) 10. Numb Cool Pukker Tule F'twmpsh
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Post by iwan on Feb 16, 2007 23:35:03 GMT
Pinhead Records was nearly called Lounge Lizard Records in tribute to my head of year when I was in 6th form lower who told me I wasn't a student I was a sleazy lounge lizard.
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Post by neilcrud on Feb 17, 2007 0:21:54 GMT
1. Neil Crud, go and stand outside Mr Dodd's office (regular phrase) 2. Get out Crud, you're a clown lad, you belong in the cattle market boy (after shouting 'wanker' in assembly) 3. I want a 4 page essay on John Travolta. (punishment for being caught smoking) 4. Oh for Christ's sake Neil its only hayfever (as I was dying in class) 5. Neil, was it you who vandalised the art room? (actually for once - it wasn't) 6. Who threw that? 7. Stop climbing out of the window! 8. Will Neil Crud please remain behind after assembly (daily occurance) 9. Was it you who put an advert to sell my car in the paper? (poor Mrs Evans, I actually liked her) 10. Are you responsible for the tonne of ready mixed tarmac on my drive? (Mr Bitcon, however, I hated)
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joehovis
Gob Shite
Moe Jurtagh
Posts: 166
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Post by joehovis on Feb 17, 2007 14:26:39 GMT
1. That bells for me not you! 2. I want a proper circle, not a semi-circle 3. "sorry i am late" So am I! 4. I'll be back in 5 minutes...an hour later he's back with a pen! (every bloody chemistry lesson!) 5. Consider yourself Bollocked 6. Pupils beware your in for a scare 7. Why the fuck are you playing Rubgy in a pair of pumps (the converse years) 8. All untended children will be fed to the lion in the basement 9. That looks like a three year old drew that! 10. Alright kiddywinks off you go.
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0
Wet Behind The Ears
Posts: 0
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Post by 0 on Feb 17, 2007 14:46:13 GMT
Bend over and suck this (oh sorry, was that just at my school)
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0
Wet Behind The Ears
Posts: 0
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Post by 0 on Feb 17, 2007 14:58:01 GMT
Just a couple I can remember (it was along time ago)
You'll never make money playing that guitar boy ( to Steve Garvey 2 years before he joined Buzzcocks)
Nobody will buy that kind of noise (to Mark E. Smith in the very early days of The Fall)
There's more to life than music lad (to me by the "careers" teacher who advised me to go into the civil service --- perhaps he was right afterall)
And not by a teacher but a visiting "educater" -- "Forget about taking on the establishment, you have to keep your nose clean and work hard. Pass your exams and get a job that you can rely on to bring you a good income until you retire"-- the then Granada TV journalist/presenter Tony Wilson dressed in a long fur coat and sporting shoulder length hair (very rock'n'roll, man)
All true quotes -- I was there -- Hey's Boys CS School Prestwich Manchester
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Post by misterwolf on Feb 18, 2007 10:14:14 GMT
JASON WOLF WHY IS YOUR HOMEWORK EXACTLY THE SAME, WORD FOR WORD AS AMY PRICE'S?
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Post by tomleucine on Feb 19, 2007 14:22:58 GMT
1. Come here boy (yet i only left school 2 years ago... this aint the 1970's) 2. I'm just nipping to the photocopier... (when in actual fact they would sneak out to perform an activity such as smoke or masturbate) 3. Who wrote "Mr. Price is a twat on the table, AGAIN!?" 4. Why are you late again?!? (the old favourite) 5. Stop looking at internet porn or your parents will be informed. 6. Remove your lighter from the gastaps!! 7. Happy 18th, let me give you a birthday kiss. (This was when the fit history teacher took us 2 Rome... get in!) 8. Stop scraping those chairs. (This was great... art teacher+hearing aid+silent muttering=him turning his hearing aid RIGHT up... then scrape said chairs!!) 9. You will play rugby against the firsts... I don't care if your in year 9! 10. "And the hymn today will be..." Screams as a masked man with a gun jumps out (FOR A JOKE) and tells her to give him "the fucking money now!" And thats mine
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Post by juz on Feb 20, 2007 12:19:59 GMT
Mrs Church once threatened to " watch me like a ton of bricks" oh I cried!!
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Post by davecox on Feb 23, 2007 14:25:02 GMT
to joe hovis, ya know your number 4 (I'll be back in 5 minutes...an hour later he's back with a pen! (every bloody chemistry lesson!)... that was Mr Roberts wasnt it?!! haha
Mrs Gorton - "Simmmerrr down children" Mr Williams (in welsh accent) - "That homework looks like dogs dinner!" and head of year whats his face (yellow tarten tie, rupert the bear style, total cunt though) "Hello Mrs Warburton, Im calling on behalf of David Warburton, Mrs Warburton, he's been behaving rather badly Mrs Warburton, Im afraid Mrs Warburton, Im going to have to ask you Mrs Warburton, to come to the school Mrs Warburton, so we can try and resolve the problem Mrs Warburton..."
what a cunt. i spat on him from the top floor of C block, legendary moment that was!
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Post by davecox on Feb 23, 2007 14:27:31 GMT
haha yer Mrs Church, can you spell retire?? I told her to fuck off once when she was tryin to stop a coridor crush, she asked what my name was an i told her Alex Goodwin, he got bollocked for it haha
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joehovis
Gob Shite
Moe Jurtagh
Posts: 166
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Post by joehovis on Feb 23, 2007 18:23:29 GMT
no! the one and only Vaughn Edwards! and his 13 chins!
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Post by neilcrud on Feb 23, 2007 19:09:30 GMT
We had a deputy head called Eddie Williams, there was a long corridor in Denbigh High with a door either end. One person would stand behind one door, and someone at the other end. Eddie would be patrolling the corridor at lunchtime.
The game was called 'Eddie Twat Face' - the idea was to scream 'EDDIE TWAT FACE' down the corridor and Eddie would begin marching towards the door - when he got close to the door, the kid at the other end would scream... yes.. 'EDDIE TWAT FACE' And so on... hours (well, a dinner hour) of fun...!!!!
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Post by juz on Feb 25, 2007 20:33:16 GMT
I once asked Miss Preston "Do you want a slap?" she didnt see the funny side
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joehovis
Gob Shite
Moe Jurtagh
Posts: 166
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Post by joehovis on Feb 25, 2007 20:43:05 GMT
r u sure it wasnt miss penrose juz?
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